Some people seem to have a very clear vision of where they are going and where they want to get to in life. Whether or not they make it seems to be less important than having an end point to aim for. In contrast, many people don’t have a clear set of goals and find the idea of creating them quite daunting. For the people in the second camp, they often slowly get a sense that they are failing to achieve their potential. And, I find, this can lead to a negative spiral, a catch-22, where you never know if you are on track if you have no clear destination.

Richard Boyatzis, an expert on intentional change says that “we become what we dream” and that in order to do that, we need to be clear about who we wish to be and what we want to achieve in our lives. He is fully aware of how overwhelming it is to allow ourselves to dream and has come up with a series of tools that shift out out of the negative spiral and open up the creative side of our mind. There is one thing I'd recommend doing - one of Boyatzis' “Dreams of the Ideal Future” exercises - that can be very effective at helping with this. It’s also very simple. You just need to list 27 or more things you’d like to do or experience before you die.

I would encourage everyone to have a go. You may not get to 27, and that’s OK. Its less about specifics (e.g. places you’d like to visit) and more about experiences (e.g. go for a walk with a future grandchild or give a speech at your child’s wedding). It may help to explore what you would have liked to have achieved at different future life milestones, like having gone skydiving by your 75th birthday or climbed Mount Everest by the time you are 50.

I really encourage you to play with this. Time is a curious quality and most people don’t have a good sense of how quickly it passes, especially when you are focussed on other things. My vision for the future is to help people find their happy path in life and at work because being unhappy is just a sign that something needs to change! And if you want some help with seeing your future more clearly, give me a shout. 











McKee, Boyatzis and Johnston, Becoming a Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, and Sustain Your Effectiveness, Harvard Business School Press, Boston, Mass. 2008

There are many times over the course of a career where we need to present ourselves differently to how we have always been. That kind of change is often triggered by a change in role or a promotion but it can also be triggered by our wanting to be seen differently. This can be very uncomfortable as it changes our relationship with our once-peers and colleagues.

For anyone who is going through this, I have some tips:

1. Get really clear in your own mind how you want to be from now on, based on your new role and your own personal style. This is most critical, especially if you have been promoted and are now managing or leading people who you worked alongside in the past. It’s you who needs to define and project your new role so that they can adapt to you, rather than playing the office version of the “sidewalk shuffle” where you both second guess each other and end up in an unwelcome, endless dance.
2. Building on point one, you need to be consistent. You are in effect training them to see you differently so that you need to make sure you don’t confuse them by being your old self one day and your new self another.
3. Be open to a wide variety of reactions: some will quickly adapt to the new you and others may comment on or even challenge that change. Consider what is driving their response and what they need from you in terms of reassurance - are they worried that your old relationship won’t survive, for example?
4. Remember that most transformations are not sudden and immediate. Allow yourself and your colleagues time to process the change.
5. Enjoy the process! Evolving and growing is one of the great joys in life. You are becoming a new version of you. Thats something to celebrate and, while you need to be aware of the impact that may have on others, don’t forget to acknowledge the transformation and celebrate all of the hard work that you put in to make it happen.

​It's not always easy to reinvent yourself. Message me if this is something you need support with.